Two worlds a part

A younger version of me wanted to be almost everything. An engineer,a lawyer, an FA,a secretary,an activist,a mother and all other fancy professions that a child could imagine. Well except being a teacher. Not that I hate teachers but teaching wasn’t for me…I have anger issues to date but…(sigh)…I’m almost managing it.

I used to imagine myself as an FA,handling passengers with confidence and sophistication. Wearing make-up all day looking beautiful with red lipstick on and smiling as often just to let the world know that I was blessed with a great dental formula so white and neatly arranged like the matchsticks in their matchbox.

I envisioned myself as a lawyer arguing my case out in the courts and not accepting defeat. Well as a child you only imagine yourself as a champion. Nothing less. As a secretary, I thought I would make one of the best secretaries working in big offices,putting on stiletto and miniskirts,driving my own car and calling the shots too. I saw myself rising to the most sought after secretary and even having a consultancy firm on the same. sounds funny right? But that was me as a child. I passed the test then,in my mind.

I thought life to be all rosy and everything was at your disposal. I thought the key to all that was complete happiness and just going to school. The part you’re told to be smart while working hard didn’t make sense then.

Now…twenty plus years down the line. I look back and tell myself I was indeed a child. Do I want to be all that,the answer is a simple no. I want to pursue law or be an FA aside my current profession. The only difference is whichever comes first among the two.

Being all grownup has made me to see myself in two worlds a part. The younger version of me that had an eye for good things in life yet so silly. Thinking that I could get all that on a silver plate, yet it was all in black and white. The older version of me that has been through the most difficult and rough moments made me realize that grass on the other side is not always green as it appears.

My younger self always thought just by saying I want to be something,it will happen automatically. I never understood the hard work that goes into it. The sacrifices made to achieve what I want. The stumbling blocks I have to pass through so as to realize my dreams. The kind of people I will associate with to help reach my dreams and so on. I never for one moment realized just how worlds a part I am with myself. The things that used to amuse me no longer make me happy. The professions I yearned for,most of them don’t matter. The things I enjoyed as a child seem useless right now and all that matters right now is making a living for my family and myself.

Over twenty years,I now realize how important it is to start early in life. I realize what it means to work hard and be smart in all that I do. Being worlds a part is not an easy thing to deal with. It is important to reconnect with your younger self and see whether your dreams have been achieved or if they are still achievable. This can only happen if you realize early that the decisions you make whether at a tender age or as an adult will always impact your life and it can only be positive if you can relate to your dreams as a child.

It’s never late to make an about turn when you realize where you erred. Linking a new you and the old you can still happen. It is also okay to be worlds a part with yourself because it is through that that you will find the stronger and a much more resilient new you