Pain

Sit with the pain until it passes,and you will be calmer for the next one,one of the writers once said that. Calm never comes that easy one has to work for and earn it and it is always by way of pain that one arrives at pleasure. So what really is pain?

Pain is when you lose a son tragically when you never anticipated it. You miss him until it hurts. You ask yourself questions without answers. Pain is when you go into depression and don’t realize it. You’re faced with suicidal thoughts,you resort to withdrawal and all of a sudden nothing really matters. Everything and everyone annoys you. Pain is when you become angry at the world without a reason. Pain is going through a loss without strength and direction and simply giving in to it.

Pain is seeing your sister hurt deeply and there is little you can do about it. Her eyes tells it all, she is helpless, angry and dull every minute of the hour. You can see through her and all you feel and see is a resigned attitude towards the pain. Pain is when all the so called solutions you had for her are nothing but additional problems. Pain is when you see her make decisions that will hurt her in the long run but can’t talk her out of it. But support.

Pain is seeing your mama’s face defeated. Seeing her struggle everyday to give you quality education with hope that one day you will be independent. Pain is seeing her tears roll when she talks of the struggles she’s faced to protect her children. Pain is seeing her give you the best in life despite being a single mum for such a long time after losing her husband. Pain is seeing her lie in that hospital bed in excruciating pain with a strong spirit like that of a warrior. Pain is seeing yourself defeated to help your mama due to joblessness in spite of her sacrifices to educate you. Pain is seeing your mama smile with sadness in her eyes amidst all the misery. Pain is not being there for her as you would wish to.

Pain is seeing your friends walk away from you. Some see you as a burden,some as a loser while others see you as a sorry state. Pain is listening to your friend judge and speak ill of you in absentia forgetting there is always a mole in a circle of friends. Pain is meeting your friends and some of them pretend not to know you while others act like they forgot about you the moment they got their jobs. Pain is seeing your friends elevate themselves in life while you’re still struggling to get something stable to do. Pain is when your friends invite you out if you decline you got no money to spend and esteem issues if you accept all they talk about is their big investments with you in the picture but non existent. Pain is when some of your friends call to to inform you that they can get you a job but at a price. That you have sex with the manager first. Now that is pain.

Pain is seeing the business politicians with ears standing out like the antennae of a mini-television and round potbellies like a pumpkin seek for safe haven in offices and fail to serve their constituents. Pain is seeing the Covid19 funds go to waste without serving the intended purpose. Pain is seeing government donations given to area chiefs to assist the needy instead those who see themselves special and think they matter so much are the beneficiaries. Pain is seeing how the citizens of this country do not really care that there is a pandemic and go about their businesses casually instead of adhering to the new normal. Because to them there is no pandemic.

Today my forest is dark. Filled with thorns and dark caves that are impenetrable. The trees are sad because they are almost losing their value and all the butterflies in my forest have broken wings. It’s only a matter of time before my forest is filled with light,before my life blooms like flowers after the winter. To every person going through something tough, know that you are not alone,you will come out a victor,you will blossom and your face will be all smiles once again. As they say no pain no gain. After the storm there is calm and one thing is for sure nothing lasts a life time.