Barbie's little world

You came in like a whirlwind

Swept past us like the lightning that you are

You went in without notice

Sat amongst us comfortably as you studied each one of us with the I don’t care attitude that you posses

You laughed calmly,smiled slyly

Boom you struck like an angry lion,thirsty for meat and longing for fresh blood.

You chose the best of them all

The most innocent and loving souls

Wonderful and joyful souls

Chatty and witty

You chose the most adorable beings

The most promising and enthusiastic

You chose the most precious gift.

Sorrow became my first name,

Solitude my second,

Loneliness my third,

Anger and withdrawal were apart of me

Nostalgia was the general in my life.

How to react to your invitation was unfathomed

We gave in to your demands

We became helpless and hopeless

Longing for your exit

Wishing we had the power and will to throw you out

The uninvited guest that you’re

Made our lives miserable

Turned us to punching bags

You made us the epicenter of everyone

You made us your captives

Always wondering what next

Living in fear and misery

The uninvited guest turned our lives upside down

Swore to give us no peace

You made a pact with yourself never to let go

You sounded vengeful and in control

You sounded brave and sober

You were committed to fulfilling your mission

You were resigned to your destiny.

You chose the best of the best among us

You chose the knights among us

You chose the king and the queen

You chose the beautiful and inspiring

Beings that knew no evil

Souls that were accustomed to love

Souls accustomed to happiness

Souls undeserving your attention

You chose souls that we will forever cherish.

The uninvited guest showed us no mercy

You showed us pain

You left us with an avalanche of questions

You struck when we least expected

And you struck us at the most painful place.

The uninvited guest is still here with us and remains uninvited.

John Perkins in his book “Confessions of An Economic hit man” define economic hit man as highly paid individuals who cheat countries around the globe out of trillions of dollars. Perkins further describes his main job at the time, where he had to convince leaders of underdeveloped countries to accept substantial development loans for large construction and engineering projects that would primarily help the richest families and local elites rather than the poor. The big question is why the underdeveloped countries? Because they are vulnerable or could it be that African leaders are easily convinced at the mention of money? By the end of the day, we all know who will be contracted to do the project.

Economic hit man know no boundaries,have no shame and wouldn’t stop at anything just to get what they want. They go as far as eating a country and her people to get it all. China for instance is increasingly using debt to expand their global influence. This is not new to many African countries. Just what is their motive or objective coming to Africa and giving them loans even when the loans have accrued? You be the judge after reading this. Most of these China loans are debt trap camouflage that easily entice African nations. But do our leaders even see the trap ? I guess not. Loans serve as eye candy to our leaders,become mouth watery and can not resist the urge either.

I would call China the modern day economic hit man. China has literally invaded the African continent and calling the shots in most African countries behind the scenes. China has become the second World bank after IMF and the only difference,China is country. It is even more sad that almost all the African countries are headed to China. But have we all thought of the long-term effect the borrowing has on the Kenyan economy and Africa at large? Our economy is being crippled slowly but surely. Our development is staggering and there will be no economic growth in the long-run.

Kenya is slowly becoming a slave to China. It’s like we have been sold off to the Chinese government,hence servants to foreigners in our own country. There have been reports that the port of Mombasa has or will be handed over to China. If there is any truth in that,then Kenya is headed for the ruins. That means unemployment will double,reduced revenue collection both at the county and national level. The impact that it would have on the economy not withstanding,Since the port is one of the major sources of revenue to the national government. If it is true,could it be that the port was offered as a collateral for loan repayment now that Kenya can’t repay her debt to China?

There is also the standard gauge railway popularly know ad SGR. China is in control of SGR much as they want to hide it from the public eye. How so? How is it possible for them to harass the employees at SGR without the government responding to their issues? Where else can that happen if not in Kenya. They also want to have a say on employment issues at SGR,seriously? Have we lost our country to China already? Have we suddenly become foreigners in our own mother land? The employees at SGR have gone through hell and back but the government is quiet about it. China is not just the modern day economic hit man but a Shylock as well.

Kenya is just but one-third of the affected African countries. China recently,had a deal gone sour with the Tanzanian president. It was more of a jilted lover for me. If the intention was genuine,I would say their president was crazy to let go of their offer. Turns out it wasn’t. China’s intention was to expand Dar es Salaam port and claim the lands around it as well. No revenue collection by the Tanzanian government, the TRA is not to be seen anywhere near the port. Even more absurd is the fact that the China government is to own the land for a period of 35years. Tanzanian government should not build any other port for a specified period of time. I find such conditions outrageous, only meant for Shylocks and people who are out to finish a country’s economy. What beats me is the fact that China government asked for a separate lease settlement and transform the place as if it were their own. What does that imply exactly? As if that wasn’t enough, China government asked the host government to compensate then for the work they will do to build the port.

Why would China make such conditions to the host country if they had no malice. By the time the 35 years have elapsed,they shall have enriched their country and improved their economy. Besides, they shall have identified a more lucrative resource they want to lay their hand on. Who does that except countries line China who thinks the entire world owes them.

As said earlier, most of these China loans are debt trap camouflage that easily entice not only the African continent but those outside as well. Sri- Lanka,a country from south Asia is a perfect example. A country that has been a victim of the China loan. Sri-Lanka handed over its port to China,but not at their own will. I could say that this could be a big help to doubting Thomases so as to have a change of thought on the so called ‘China soft loans”. For Sri-Lanka to hand over the southern coast of Itambantota port,it only means one thing. She failed to repay China the debt owed. This to the China government is part of the loan repayment but it sounds more of a disguise in the name of a 99- year lease agreement. China now holds a majority stake in the port as part of a joint venture with the state run Sri-Lanka port authority. This agreement includes a thirty year tax break for the Chinese firms. How convenient.

It is quite clear that China’s assistance to any country always come with preconditions. Still on Sri-Lanka, China asked the host government (Sri-Lanka) to clear the domestic legal and political issues before investments are made into the Colombo port city development project. That including the land too. It is more sad that Pakistan’s Gwadar port is headed in the same direction with the Chinese government.

Seventy two percent of Kenya’s fifty billion dollars bilateral debts is owed to China,with Kenya requesting an additional $3.8 billion extension,according to a report. Just like world bank which has eight countries sitting in the board, that is U.S,France, Germany, the UK,Russia,Saudi Arabia,China and Japan who have a bigger say and the chairman most part of it was the U.S. China has become the second world bank,dishing loans to the African countries with a hidden agenda of taking over the African continent’s most basic national resources so that they can grow their economy at the expense of degenerating African countries economy.

Modern day economic hit man is slowly increasing her territory and power to the African continent and we are watching and taking this sitting down when sooner or later things will blow up on our faces and we will have no where to go and no one to cry to but ourselves. My question still is,why would China want to take over the African countries national resources especially the ports?

What if all of us takes the first initiative? This is a question that I have asked myself for the past few days. I suppose if we all took the responsibility of being our brother’s keeper then we wouldn’t look for people to blame whenever a disaster or a tragedy occurs.

There are lots of videos that have been doing rounds on social media. Sad and heart breaking. Videos of people calling and crying for help. People share these videos and I ask myself is it really human to do so. Just where and when did Kenyans lose their humanity?Do we ever stop and reflect on the long term effect such videos have towards the affected families? Do we even put ourselves in their situation?

There is a lot we can do whenever we hear a cry for help. The time one spends on recording the injured is so much for the dying person. Remember…every second counts for a dying person. We enjoy recording and watching them suffer in pain through our phones so that we can share and get more likes and comments. In real sense that’s the only time you can bring out the humanity within.

Sometimes it’s not about having the first aid skills. But shouting for help…making an emergency call if you’re in a position to makes a huge difference to the person lying in front of you. It’s sad that instead of being of help to the injured,you choose to show them that you own a smart phone and you’re capable of taking pictures and recording videos whichever way you like and any time you so wish. These are the same people who don’t pave way to ambulances and emergency vehicles.

Doing that only shows your level of maturity and the kind of care and concern you have towards your fellow humans. I know most people will disagree with me but it’s not always about how you carry yourself out there but what you do when you’re alone and most importantly when you’re around people and animals as well.

The recent ferry disaster had people talking and as usual blame games. Kenyans are always too quick to judge and condemn the government for their slow response. The first responders are always the ones on the ground. Just how much did the people who could dive do to save the situation…were the pax able to call anyone from the emergency department immediately?… How aggressive were they the moment the vehicle plunged into the ocean? Definitely… there was panic but what strategy did they come up with so as to help the sea divers and the Kenya Navy so as to retrieve the bodies?

That brings me to the commonly asked question on the level of our preparedness as a nation. This starting from the local level all the way up to the national level. But even before we can address the response question…how much do we know when it comes to different disasters and are we even equipped with information on handling them whenever we are hit?

It’s important to be our brother’s keeper and act as we should whenever we are needed to help. Taking pictures and recording videos in times of distress should not be the case. There is a lot more we can do to the person lying down there calling for your help….and just who knows… you may save a life when you least expect it. I wonder how you even sleep after recording the victim and learning later that the person succumbed to injuries.

Once a trusted friend,

Handy like a right hand man,

Always there whenever needed,

Smiling and laughing,

As if happiness was his first name,and laughter his sir name,

His teeth were like the fresh milk of Rubindi,

His eyes shiny like the night stars,

His complexion very attractive, with a flawless skin like that of a new born,

His ears flaring in the air,one would think he’s cousins with the elephant.

Then a time came when all that changed.

The smile vanished into thin air

The laughter faded within a flash with the sound disappearing in the wind

The once shiny and happy friend

Turned gloomy,I could only compare him to darkness.

Solitude was his first name,sorrow and pain became his family

His white teeth became a rare gem,invincible like your imagination

The once bright eyes were filled with rage,pain,sorrow and anger.

It was hard to fathom what was going on his mind

The flawless skin became a crocodile’s skin

His figure was lean,tall and hopeless

The only thing that remained standing out were his elephant ears.

His world stopped

The pace slowed

The laughter faded

The breath silent

The heartbeat weakened

The sowing collapsed

Just like that his eyes closed

Free from the evil of this world

Free from the treacherous humans

Just like that the heartbeat stopped

No more pulse rate,no more movement

Just like that he was like a log of wood

He laid there lifeless,motionless

One could think he is sleeping

But that was not the case,he was gone.

Gone forever

Never to be seen nor see

Never to be felt nor feel

Never to be heard nor hear

Never to smile,never to laugh,never to be happy nor angry

Never to flare his elephant ears

Never to breath again

Just like that he was six feet under

Just like that he was an angel around the throne since that day. #intropoetry

A younger version of me wanted to be almost everything. An engineer,a lawyer, an FA,a secretary,an activist,a mother and all other fancy professions that a child could imagine. Well except being a teacher. Not that I hate teachers but teaching wasn’t for me…I have anger issues to date but…(sigh)…I’m almost managing it.

I used to imagine myself as an FA,handling passengers with confidence and sophistication. Wearing make-up all day looking beautiful with red lipstick on and smiling as often just to let the world know that I was blessed with a great dental formula so white and neatly arranged like the matchsticks in their matchbox.

I envisioned myself as a lawyer arguing my case out in the courts and not accepting defeat. Well as a child you only imagine yourself as a champion. Nothing less. As a secretary, I thought I would make one of the best secretaries working in big offices,putting on stiletto and miniskirts,driving my own car and calling the shots too. I saw myself rising to the most sought after secretary and even having a consultancy firm on the same. sounds funny right? But that was me as a child. I passed the test then,in my mind.

I thought life to be all rosy and everything was at your disposal. I thought the key to all that was complete happiness and just going to school. The part you’re told to be smart while working hard didn’t make sense then.

Now…twenty plus years down the line. I look back and tell myself I was indeed a child. Do I want to be all that,the answer is a simple no. I want to pursue law or be an FA aside my current profession. The only difference is whichever comes first among the two.

Being all grownup has made me to see myself in two worlds a part. The younger version of me that had an eye for good things in life yet so silly. Thinking that I could get all that on a silver plate, yet it was all in black and white. The older version of me that has been through the most difficult and rough moments made me realize that grass on the other side is not always green as it appears.

My younger self always thought just by saying I want to be something,it will happen automatically. I never understood the hard work that goes into it. The sacrifices made to achieve what I want. The stumbling blocks I have to pass through so as to realize my dreams. The kind of people I will associate with to help reach my dreams and so on. I never for one moment realized just how worlds a part I am with myself. The things that used to amuse me no longer make me happy. The professions I yearned for,most of them don’t matter. The things I enjoyed as a child seem useless right now and all that matters right now is making a living for my family and myself.

Over twenty years,I now realize how important it is to start early in life. I realize what it means to work hard and be smart in all that I do. Being worlds a part is not an easy thing to deal with. It is important to reconnect with your younger self and see whether your dreams have been achieved or if they are still achievable. This can only happen if you realize early that the decisions you make whether at a tender age or as an adult will always impact your life and it can only be positive if you can relate to your dreams as a child.

It’s never late to make an about turn when you realize where you erred. Linking a new you and the old you can still happen. It is also okay to be worlds a part with yourself because it is through that that you will find the stronger and a much more resilient new you

One day you will understand why you came to this world. You will understand the struggles we went through together. You will understand the pain,the suffering and heartaches we endured just to make it this far.

One day you will understand that you were not a mistake but blessings. You will understand the joy and happiness you brought to the people around you. You will understand the valleys and mountains we passed through just to be where you are. You will understand the lessons of life and put them into practice.

One day you will understand that hard work pays however long it takes. You will understand that patience is a virtue. You will understand with patience comes a long good tidings.

One day you will understand there are times you have to make sacrifices. That the outcome of the sacrifices will be consequential. That the most important thing at that time is courage,patience and focus.

One day you will understand that the choices you make in life will have a long term impact on you and follow you to adulthood. You will understand when and what to prioritize. You will understand the importance of having a plan before embarking on anything. You will understand the true meaning of a family in your plans. You will understand and appreciate the virtues instilled in you at a tender age.

One day you will understand the role of a mother and a father in your lives. You will understand the gap left when one is not present in your lives. You will understand the purity of life is intertwined in the family.

Dear sons…I hope that one day you will look back and smile at life. You will look back and tell yourselves all that you went through was worth it. The bad and good times,the hearty laughter we shared on Sundays after mass. The little walks we had. The photos we took together as a family. One day you will look back and be true to yourselves and be the sons of the soil you are meant to be.

Dear sons One Day.

One day you will understand why you came to this world. You will understand the struggles we went through together. You will understand the pain,the suffering and heartaches we endured just to make it this far.

One day you will understand that you were not a mistake but blessings. You will understand the joy and happiness you brought to the people around you. You will understand the valleys and mountains we passed through just to be where you are. You will understand the lessons of life and put them into practice.

One day you will understand that hard work pays however long it takes. You will understand that patience is a virtue. You will understand with patience comes a long good tidings.

One day you will understand there are times you have to make sacrifices. That the outcome of the sacrifices will be consequential. That the most important thing at that time is courage,patience and focus.

One day you will understand that the choices you make in life will have a long term impact on you and follow you to adulthood. You will understand when and what to prioritize. You will understand the importance of having a plan before embarking on anything. You will understand the true meaning of a family in your plans. You will understand and appreciate the virtues instilled in you at a tender age.

One day you will understand the role of a mother and a father in your lives. You will understand the gap left when one is not present in your lives. You will understand the purity of life is intertwined in the family.

Dear sons…I hope that one day you will look back and smile at life. You will look back and tell yourselves all that you went through was worth it. The bad and good times,the hearty laughter we shared on Sundays after mass. The little walks we had. The photos we took together as a family. One day you will look back and be true to yourselves and be the sons of the soil you are meant to be.

Dear sons One Day.

I once asked a friend of mine if she would want to be a man or a woman in the next life…as expected…she still wanted to be a woman. Just like me,most women would want to maintain their gender but improve their status in the next life.

A man’s world is quite different from a woman’s. Unlike a woman’s sophisticated world,a man’s world is quite simple but most of all very obvious. It’s hard being a man,even much harder for a family man. Many are times that I ask myself how do these men manage,with the family around,the wife,the kids and side chicks for the must haves.

A man will pay rent,pay fees,do house shopping, clothe the wife and entertain friends at the bar. All these with a monthly salary. It’s a little easier for the men with a monthly salary and a business too. Some men go an extra mile to even feed and clothe the in-laws. But most often than not,their efforts go unnoticed. Don’t forget that he houses the wife’s sisters and brothers too. Unfortunately, some women don’t appreciate all these. They still ask for more. Blames the husband for not giving her money on time if she wants it,the woman doubles her salon money,sends away her in-laws, dictates the kind of help that should be given to her in-laws and even decides when to visit her in-laws yet she visits her home almost every weekend with bags full of goodies.

Let men be men,in their strength, in their weakness,in their high and low moments,in their families,work place,at the bar,at the church. Let men be men in the social places and in their circle of friends. Appreciate them and encourage them,give them hope and make them feel their strength in their moment of weakness. Let men do their thing as men and above all,let men have their personal space.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton